Intoxicated...still

I've been to wonderland for days. I was intoxicated by YOU, your gazing eyes, your soft touch, and your not-so-perfect-but-warm-inducing smile.

Everytime I close my eyes, I see you. And at times when I hear you, I try bring back all those moments we shared, hoping it will happen again.

If only I could stop time, I would have frozen the moment when I was next to you and never leave your side anymore.
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my hues

you are blanchedalmond #FFEBCD

Your dominant hues are red and yellow... most of what you do is motivated by your need to change things and have a good time, but you've been known to settle down and think out a situation, too. You tend to surprise people just when they're starting to feel like they've got you down. Your saturation level is low - You stay out of stressful situations and advise others to do the same. You may not be the go-to person when something really needs done, but you know never to blow things out of proportion. Your outlook on life is very bright. You are sunny and optimistic about life and others find it very encouraging, but remember to tone it down if you sense irritation.

the spacefem.com html color quiz

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Beyond Redemption

I really don't have much inclination to alcohol. Like what sensible people always say, "alcohol makes people do stupid things". I concur to that "sensible" opinion. However, isn't it more appropriate to say that alcohol brings out the honesty in each and every one of us lying and hypocritical motherfuckers?!

Now there's alcohol on the table, you add friends, booty shakin' music and tons of party people, you get a crazy girl who, after that one night out, would be drowned into an abyss of loneliness, regret, and guilt.
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is this for real?

andrhea -- [adjective]: Extremely extreme! 'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

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kulitan at KOWLOON!

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his dark materials, phillip pullman, and the movie

Thanks to my beloved professor, I came across Phillip Pullman and His Dark Materials, a book he magnificently made, he claimed having substance. True. It's got substance.

His Dark Materials is a childnren's book, but it's nothing like Harry Potter, Narnia, or Lord of the Rings. It's got more depth and it's an attack to theocracy. In Pullman's book, he tells his readers about things such as daemons, alithieometer, dust ---a dust of great significance, gyptians, witches, bears, intercision, and more ficititious things he used to open his readers into a new world where things make sense.

And now, there is an upcoming movie about it. They're filming it already and to my surprise, Nicole Kidman plays the role of Mrs. Coulter, the graceful woman who happens to be the mother of the protagonist Lyra.

That movie is a must-see, but before that, I gotta read that book, it's a MUST-READ.
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of calvin and hobbes

I used to hate writing assignments, but now I enjoy them. I realized that the purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure poor reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a little practice, writing can be an intimidating and impenetrable fog!
-Calvine (Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat)

This kid surely knows how I feel after years of schooling...

Eight years, I have considered writing as something I feel like I am good at. I have danced, sang, acted, and danced again, but I know I'm not good at all of the above. I just know how to project myself onstage, but no expert of any other than writing. I'm not the best writer in the world, I just happen to know how to do this and that, and I just happen to be much better than some people with their grammar. Other than that, I'm nothing else, I suppose.

But now, I think I have grown of writing...I'm not writing for sheer fun anymore. I'm writing because I HAVE TO! how's that for a hobby?
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thoughts from the women i admire

The eyes of others our prisons; their thoughts our cages.
-Virginia Woolf

Many people lock a part of themselves away. It\'s a bit sacred.
-Tori Amos

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to feel or not to feel

Early this morning, I watched the movie EQUILIBRIUM with my brother. I saw it posted in the malls when it was show, but I did not dare go and have a nice look at it in the movies because I thought it was just another action action movie, which happened to have a cast that I happen to like, Taye Diggs, Christian Bale, and Sean Bean. Cool cast. But I decided against it because, again, I thought it was just some action movie with a storyline that will just bore me in the end.

BUT NO! Hell, no! I was wrong all along. When I watched the movie earlier this morning, it was a movie of substance. Although it was not an academy-award winning movie, it does well with the script and the actors, the concept, and, okay, the stunts. It opens up the topic of human emotion. In the movie, the state tries to eliminate human emotion as the rootcause of all suffering, of war. So, the best way to deal with it is to ELIMINATE it...SUPRESS it with a drug the people must take regularly. In case of lapse, they must go to EQUILIBRIUM to put back the medication on track.

But I, being poor, have only my dreams. I have spread my dreams under your feet. Tread softly because you tread on my dreams. I assume you dream, Preston.
-Partridge (quoting Yeats)

Anyways, I am not going to divulge the whole story of the movie here because it would be unfair to the movie and to you. It wouldn't be that exciting to watch if I'd tell you about it here because I'm not much of a good storyteller, and it's better if you go watch it yourself and FEEL and THINK about what the movie has got to show you.

Indeed, feelings are very strong. It indeed brings us rage, wrath, jealousy, and all other unpleasant things one could do, but isn't it also as beautiful as care, joy, happiness, and love? It is a very costly fruit of life...and I am gladly paying for it, no matter what the cost.

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another thought

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride; so I love you because I know no other way that this: where I does not exist, nor you, so close that your hand on my chest is my hand, so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.
-Pablo Neruda

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just a thought

It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees!
-Emiliano Zapata

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they make me smile

I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each others dreams, we can be together all the time.

-Hobbes (Calvin and Hobbes)

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it burns

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Nessa

Great things come in small packages. True. But not all the time.

You see, I have a friend. She’s GREAT but she’s not small. She’s not big either. She’s just humungous. Hehehe. Joke!

Actually, I never thought I’d ever get to know her. I always heard her name…NESSA. In fact, I’ve read her name in Tolkien’s pages. But I never thought I would know her (the human Nessa, okay. Not Nessa the Vala…oh, whatever, I don’t think all of you know the Vala named Ness anyway.)

There you go…her name is NESSA… in the short time that we’ve been together, perhaps I could tell you several things about her so that you’d know what kind of girl/friend/person/massleader/stundent/puppy (whatever) she is.

For starters, Nessa studies English in UP Diliman and a CAL SC councilor… (lupet!!) and…NEWSFLASH!!! She just got a scholarship from a Japanese university. (How’s that?) She loves books. She grew up with them. She loves musicals. She also grew up with them. She has a dog named Jojo that is so sweet…just like her!

Oh well, writing a blog about her makes me miss her more and more. I just wonder how she’s doing right now. Bloggers, I am writing this because I want to keep her memory alive and so that all of you will know that there are still people around who knows how to love, okay…even if it breaks my heart to think that we will never be able to go to Ma Mon Luk as often as we like.

I miss her already!!!

If you only knew how much effort it took for me not to cry when we bade our goodbyes. *sigh*

I will never forget the day we ate at Ma Mon Luk (the oldest mami restaurant in the Philippines, mind you). She was so overwhelmed with the food, she nearly cried. And later that day, we played like we were 7-year-olds at the Vinzons lobby until we were sweating profusely. Then, we slept at their house where we played the spelling game and eviled each other until we got tired. *sigh* Also, I will never forget the stormy afternoon I spent with her at the second floor of the Vinzons Hall where we lied on our back and just listened to our theme song, which she heard from a musical. Well, these are only few of my unforgettable times with her. Oh, I forgot to mention also the day when she took us for a walk inside ADMU all the way to MC!!! The walk was killing me…but it was all worth it. The moments were all worth it. :D

I was wrong. I thought this summer would be hell! But it’s not. This summer, I’ve been blessed with a QUEEN (yeah! Queen. For those who don’t know, she’s a queen) named Nessa. She’s so sweet that you’d be damned crazy if you cannot love her. She’s so warm, you’d think that life has never been cold on her.

She understands. She listens. She warms you up inside. She loves me. And she’s not afraid to show it. For that, I love her so much…and now I just miss her so bad.

Don’t worry, Nessa, when you come here, we’ll make everyday a very special day. We’ll eat and eat and eat!!!

And since I’m not there anymore, I leave the Pandan to your care. Remember that I love that Pandan so much…it deserves nothing but all the best in the world. Right now, I have nothing to offer to that Pandan. Maybe in time, I will have all the best in the world and when that day comes, I would not look so small in front of that Pandan anymore.

Thanks, Nessa. May the grace of the Valar shine upon us all.

Lissenen ‘ar maska ‘lalaith tenna’ lye omentuva.

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